Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
