census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
