This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
