I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
