Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
