girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm too high and old for this...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
