Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
