she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we made out on top of his cat.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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