508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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