You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
