So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
