Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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