You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
