I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
