hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
youre lurking in front of me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
