For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
