u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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