just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
