Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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