i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
