Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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