I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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