Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
