when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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