I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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