Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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