Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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