It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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