No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
