big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
