is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
