I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I deserve to be covered in dicks
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
