They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
