I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
