i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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