I feel like abortions should bother me more
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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