dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
