Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Never underestimate the power of titties
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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