am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
