Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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