What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
