I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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