WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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