Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
