STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
