Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
