so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i think my cat just said my name.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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