If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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