I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
