Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
