How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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