Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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