gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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